I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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