Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
