man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
