Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
