I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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