New invention idea: vibrating tampons
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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