too bad you live with your parents still
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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