I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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