OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
