I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
