forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him