I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
