**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
