Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
