did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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