ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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