I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
