normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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