i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
