FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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