Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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