i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
