Dual....:-)
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
