How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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