God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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