i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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