are you still at the devil's house?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
