i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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