He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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