HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
