I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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