He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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