Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
