Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
