I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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