come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
