I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
