Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I AM VODKA MAN
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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