For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
