I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
