wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am spending my child support on dildos
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
