he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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