I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
