dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
