I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
