He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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