I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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