Yo dont text me then not text me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
