Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
