It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize