We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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