It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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