He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
