Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
