I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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