Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just made out with a guy for $7.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
