I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
