i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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