dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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