i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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