there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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