there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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